Finding strength.

It’s my first week of school and it would be a total lie if I didn’t admit that I’m a total head case. I am currently sitting on the cold floor of these strange crowed hallways & I don’t know where any of my classes are, which demands that I arrive to the classroom at least an hour early just so that I may be certain that I shall not be late.I just walked through buildings I’ve never been to before, buildings I never even knew existed. I’m seeing new faces, I’m learning new things, I’m facing new challenges, which means, I will recite new prayers, possibly new psalms, which is even better because that only means one thing: I get to experience God in a new way, on new grounds, on a totally new level.

The embryo stage of this new semester kind of makes me think of life in general, it slightly has a parallel to our walk with God. Here we are, building our lives on these unsolid grounds. And just when we think our halleluias are strong enough, we begin to be pulled into these new directions, new waves, that constantly wrecks us to the core of our being. Realizing that at the end, we’ll never stop learning, we’ll never stop growing. Because brokeness is a stage that has no end, it’s a season that has no end, which makes me question, if it truly is a season, since it’s eternally present, a part of each layers that has to be undone throughout this process. And because brokeness is eternally present, mistakes and flaws are eternally present, here with us on earth. Pain and suffering is inevitable. And there is beauty in that. It’s what makes our prayers as beautiful as it could ever be. Our physical reality are built on waters, kind of like on the ocean. And it occurs, that sometimes, or maybe all the time, we can’t avoid the waves that come by to stray us away from where we once were. Yet at times, in the midst of those unexpected waves, we get to see our reflection on the water. And we realize that we are still so far from the resemblance criteria that the Creator has called us to be. So what do we then do? Do we let the waves shake us and pull us away with its current, do we swim back to where we are used to for it is all we know and are used to, to then realize there is absolutely nothing left? Or do we swim against the direction of those waves, to show that we are willing to fight back in order to get to our original direction. Imagine being stuck in the width of the ocean, in the middle of violent waves. Would you remember which directions you were going? How are we supposed to distinguish North from South in those circumstances? Everything looks the same, since we are surrounded by waters and waves all around. Perhaps, I believe that the direction we must take, the authentic direction that is to be taken and followed, is where we see the sun rise, where we see the sun shinning, because it’s the only source that never changes. It always rises at the exact same place.
Choose to swim against the current of the waves, towards the source of light. Choose to swim towards Jesus, your only source of unchanging light. Choose to fight back, choose to never quit nor give up. Choose to keep your eyes on Him. When everything around us, seems to be fading away, when everything around us, looks like it is being wept away with the waves and shaken, choose to keep hope on the Sun. And soon enough, what seems like an endless ocean filled with water, will become solid ground for you to walk on. Embryo stages are always the toughest, but thats’ because every beginning is always a little bit unstable. But with time, we start to get a hang of it. Sometimes, I wonder, if all of life is the embryo, or at least, most of it. It seems to me as though, we are always, “ only getting started”. To walk, to learn, to grow, and to know Him. All of life will be the embryo, of pain, suffering, and mistakes. But I think that’s the beauty of life itself. Never really knowing fully. Always seeing in parts now, and then, we’ll fully know, one day when we’re face to face with the One who placed us here… The ocean. One of life’s greatest beauty, yet one of life’s biggest fear. Fear to drown, fear to lose oneself, fear of the unknown creatures that is yet to be discovered, fear of it’s unsolid ground, and incomprehensible natural disaster causes. The ocean, one of life’s greatest beauty, which I am privileged to swim in, to live in, and sometimes even get lost in, and drown. But that’s what the Sun is there for. To constantly remind me of, the purpose of my existence. I wasn’t consumed just to be placed in the middle of the ocean, and drown. I was made, to swim with all my might, fight back, and lock eyes on the truth. The truth that will allow me to trust wherever the Spirit leads, because where He leads, is where solid ground is found. Where He leads, there is enlightenment that will crawl through the bones of my spirit and give me strength, warmness, and comfort. Therefore, allow me to ask you, what do you choose today? Do you choose to stay in this ocean called life, and let the waves sweep you away? Do you choose to swim back to where you used to be, to then realize that you wasted time and energy on things that will never be again, for it is gone? Do you choose to stay exactly where you are, in despair, and drown? Or do you choose to swim against the arising of the waves and waters, pull up your sleeves, and fight back…

Right in this moment, as I’m typing to you these exact words, I hear the enemy trying to confuse me saying “ Where do you look, in the middle of the night, in the darkness? Where do you swim towards, for there is no Sun to illuminate you?” Well I tell you my friend, look at the stars, until morning comes, and hope that you will certainly see the Sun rise again.

Suddenly, I am finding strength to face this new semester, and embrace all of the new challenges it will bring. I am ready to swim and win, and though I may get weary at times through this process, I choose to trust that the Sun will carry me through. I don’t know what I just wrote, but I just needed to document this new journey I’m about to embark on.

We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. – Hebrews 12:2

You can do this. You’ve swam a long way now, don’t  go back, or give up here. Keep your eyes on Jesus.

Ocean: A vast expanse or quantity

One Reply to “Finding strength.”

  1. This is very much needed right now.
    Nous remercions L’Esprit de Dieu car Il est toujours a notre disposition, surtout quand les vagues nous emportent et que les eaux nous semblent plus en plus profond. Qu’Il soit notre force dans les moments de faiblesse car la bible dit “Je peux tout par Celui qui me fortifie”. Amen!

    Thank you!!! 💕☝

    Liked by 1 person

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